Jokes on you
by hollyhocks09
Summary: I love Draco, but he can be a git sometimes, especially when he's younger. When he finds out about Harry's feelings, will he be mature enough to handle it? Will he ever be? Set in 4th year.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey, so this has been knocing around inside my head for a while now. Like I said, I love Draco, but he can be awful sometimes, especially when he's younger and I thought well, that that didn't get across a lot. If I get enough feedback I might do another chapter, I do have an idea…. So please review! It would make my day!_

The hall was still and hushed. The students worked away busily, or at least pretended too. Most of them gossiped in undertones or played hangman with their neighbour. It was only a study period anyway, and it was only the fourth year class; everyone was bored and listless.

The silence dragged on, deadly monotonous. Until, that was, a certain Rom weasly yelled; "DRACO MALFOY?" He sound echoed around the room, every head in the hall snapped up to stare at the golden trio, Hermione and Ron looking aghast, Harry looking humiliated. For a single moment there was complete and utter stillness, Harry could feel every pair of eyes burning into him, and then;

"what about me?" Came the upper class drawl of Draco Malfoy, sounding understandably suspicious. "n-nothing!" Potter said, clearly lying though his teeth. "just saying, um, errr…how great a person you were…" he finished lamely. The two arch enemies stared at each other, Potter pink in the face, Malfoy looking as if he were sucking on a lemon. "Although that is doubtlessly true Potter, I am far from stupid enough to believe that's what you were talking about. If you can say it about me you can say it to me."

There was a long, long silence. "and I thought gryfendoors were meant to be brave." Draco sneered, getting more and more agitated, he had to know, had to find out. He was certain Potter and his freak friends were plotting something nasty against him, that was all they ever seemed to do, the low life idoits.

But then an evil smirk spread over Draco's face as he noticed who was sitting behind the trio; Scarlett Edwards, a very 'helpful' Ravenclaw with the morals of a slytherin, who notoriously made money by selling gossip to…certain people. She would have heard. She would have known. She would be happy to talk, for a price. And in Draco's books no price was too high. When she saw him looking, she gave him a short, sharp nod.

Harry may be a budding warrior, a kid hero, the boy-who-lived and a tri-wizard torment champion… but the look on Draco's face absolutely terrified him.

"listen, Malfoy we really went saying anything, we were, um guessing who would end up being head boy! Yeah, so there's really no need to-"

"all right," Draco said casually. He stretched luxuriously, as if he hadn't a care in the world. "If you wont tell me Potter I have other ways of finding out. And don't worry," he sneered. " I will find out."

Harry gulped, shaking slightly now, and opened his mouth to say- But the door flew open and Severus Snape stalked in. A professor checked on them every 15 miniatures to check that they were working and to see if any of the students needed help with their work. No one ever dared ask Snape for help.

"bloody hell mate." Ron whispered to him across the table, when Snape had gone again. "fuck you." Harry said viciously, still red in the face. "I mean how could you!" He hissed, glaring daggers at the red head. "mate." Ron said, eyes still wide "it was quite a shock, what you just said, you should have told me somewhere private"

"you two should have stopped hounding me about it!" Harry protested. Hermione at least, had the grace to blush…

That period was the longest in Draco's life. He was practically foaming at the mouth with his need to know what Harry had been saying about him. When the bell rang he pelted towards Scarlett and dragged her into the nearest deserted classroom, Crabbe and Goyal lumbering after him.

"Tell me." he demanded, but she just smiled and shook her head. "payment first, you know the rules."

"what do you want?" he snapped. "the usual, and… a little extra. This information is worth it, I promise." With a scowl on his face Draco handed over the usual amount of money and sweets before sullenly asking her what else she wanted.

"I want you," and here she took a deep breath. " to kiss me."

"what? No." Draco said, crinkling his nose at the thought. "Then no information-" "wait!" Draco said, he desperately needed to know! "um, how do I know you'll tell me? The money and such I can take back, a kiss I cant. You could always just run off without telling me." He reasoned. It was pretty sound logic, but really, he didn't know why he didn't want to kiss her….he just knew he didn't.

"don't be daft Draco I know your cronies would break my legs." She said, matter of factly. "So just do it." Draco reflected for a moment. He didn't really want to kiss her, and he could just make Crabbe and Goyal beat her up until she talked, but that would probably…dissuade her from ever delivering him information again. Maybe even convince her to report on him. And that would not be good.

"fine." He said, he lent forward and briefly pecked her on the lips. It was a bit salty really, one of his first ever kisses, but, he smirked to himself, he thought he did it very well indeed.

She smiled up at him, looking slightly abashed for a moment before going straight back to business. "he fancies you." She said with a smirk. Draco's jaw literally dropped.

"and I don't just mean vaguely noticing how handsome you are, I mean like major crush, wet dreams every night, wanting to ask you to the yule ball! He even doodles hearts on his parchment!" she squealed with delight. "that's what they were talking about just before that oaf Weasly yelled your name. Granger and he were pressuring Potter to tell them who he was drawing them for, and when Potter said, well you saw what happened, I guess weasly just couldn't take it."

When Draco's brain finally accepted this information and got its arse out of shock, he let out a boom of laughter and fell to the floor in hysterics. "that is fantastic!" he said, when he could finally talk, his very soul bubbling over with glee. "Oh I should have known he was secretly gagging for me. I will have so much fun with this! Okay, I need to go and plot. That was truly first rate information, so thank you!" And he practically skipped to the Slytherin common room, smug smirk in full force. Oooooh, he was going to make Potter wish he had never been born! And best of all, he was going to let everyone know that Potter had the hots for him, wanted him, lusted after him…. Power was a wonderful thing to have.

He spent a long, long time coming up with his plan. But when he did, he was more than satisfied. It was a pretty complicated one, and to keep it all under wraps took some doing, as Potter couldn't know he was in a trap until it was too late, but he knew it would be worth it.

Firstly , he had to convince various 4th year students to approach teachers, in one way or another and…

Okay, back up a second. The 5th years always had this "sex seminar" about love and feelings and sexuality and crap like that. The teachers thought it was useful, but it was only ever criminally awkward for the students. But it was necessary for his plan.

So, he asked all these other students to approach teacher tell them that the 4th years _needed_ the seminar too. Long story short, it worked like a dream, and was scheduled for the very next week.

Next, he needed some of Potters parchment that had the little hearts on it. (He couldn't stop giggling about that) That took some careful planning as well, but he got it, and with a ludicrous amount of attention to detail, he forged Harry's handwriting, coping down the words; "Harry Potter loves Draco Malfoy" around the hearts, before magically duplicating them over and over again.

All he had to do now was wait.

It took an agonisingly long time for the night of the seminar to come around, but it finally did. The fourth year students piled into a room, lined with bean bags and trying far too hard to look cosy and non-threatening. The end result was that it just looked creepy. The seminar teacher was this middle aged woman they got in especially to do this course thing, she was nice enough , although she clearly had no idea about the house rivalries.

The first part of the evening just bored Draco, explaining about how babies were made and sex and gross things like that. It was the part about 'feelings' and 'questioning your sexuality' that he was really interested in.

They did some trust exercises and a few games about…well Draco wasn't really sure what the point of the games were, he guessed they were to get everyone to relax before they talked about heavy stuff. It made the atmosphere surprisingly light actually, almost fun. But Draco would never admit that.

Then they talked about the serous stuff. Harry came out as gay, which absolutely amazed everyone (except a choice few of course, although Draco pretended to be shocked).

Then they talked about….feelings.

Like a fool, Harry really opened up, believing that no one knew who he liked apart from Ron and Hermione. He talked about this secret person, how he really, really liked them, how nervous he got around him, how strange it was to figure out he was gay, how desperately handsome he found this certain someone… It wasn't just Harry talking of course, but everyone focused on Harry, like always. In fact when Draco mentioned like a secret someone (a lie, but who was to know that?) barley anyone battered an eye lid. _Stupid scar head_, Draco fumed jealously.

When asked if he were going to ask this person to the Yule ball, Harry just said;

"well maybe…it's a bit difficult, because he's in another house, but I am a champion this year and I think he'd like to go with one. I mean if I can battle a dragon surly I can ask someone to a dance, right?" He said, laughing nervously. A few joined in with him and there were a couple people whispered; "I'll go with you Harry!"

And finally, they were dismissed.

As soon as the first person walked out the door, there was a flurry of paper falling from the sky, and a moment later; gasps, giggling, snorts of barley concealed laughter.

"What?" Shy, sweet Harry asked form the back. And then someone shoved a slip of paper at him; "is it true Harry?" The boy asked, staring at Harry in wonder. Harry's face went pale as he saw the slip of paper, the heart with his declaration of love for Draco…but he couldn't remember ever writing that…

He wanted so badly to deny it, but the look on his face confirmed it to it to everyone before he even opened his mouth and there was a sudden explosion of noise, from disgust to anger, to disappointment that it wasn't them.

His face was still pale as death, but he looked up searching the room for Draco, the tiniest particle of hope inside of him. Even though he had been outed to his whole year and soon to the whole school, maybe Draco would still say yes, maybe it could work out.

He looked franticly around and saw- the pale boy laughing, surrounded by fellow slytherins. It was as if the floor disappeared from under him, as if all his organs were gone and suddenly replaced with lead, he had never been so humiliated, and after saying all of that stuff about him only moments ago-

"how did you do it Draco? Make the paper fall like that? It was genius! " one of them screeched. "I got peaves to rig it up for me." Draco cackled.

Harry's heart shattered, his lips trembled and his eyes stung with tears. He took a shaky breath and tried to fight his way out of the crowd.

But evidently, Draco had not counted on peaves sticking around, because soon huge buckets of ice cold water were being poured over them all and a cackling sound was coming from above them. For once in his life, Harry was glad of peaves, the water scattered them all like leaves in a hurricane and made Harry's mad dash to Gyrfendoor tower all the easier.

He still had tears in his eyes though, and when he collapsed into his bed, his whole body shook with sobs, loud undignified wails. Of rejection and pain, and crushed hope, of lost dreams and that beautifull face laughing at him…. But mostly he hated himself for still caring about the git.

And Draco really, really was a git. He heckled him in the halls, pretended to blow kissed at him, rejected him over and over again, was so sickeningly smug and arrogant about bloody everything…. But this time, every body knew he was right, that the boy who lived did fancy him, majorly if what Harry said in the seminar was anything to go by…. they never for a moment let Harry forget what happened.

The worst thing, the thing Harry refused to admit, even to himself…. Was that he kind of liked the extra interaction he was getting with him now…

Yeah, he kind of liked it, because really, it was better than nothing at all. Sometimes, at night Harry pretend that the kisses Draco sent him were genuine and although he hated himself for it, it made it easier to sleep at night.


	2. Chapter 2

_So, its been ages. I know I am so sorry. I will be getting to update my other stuff as soon as I can, in fact I'm working on them now, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who had reviewed and subbed despite my terrible absence. Really it meant so much! _

It was the "8th year" and Harry stood, proud and noble, looking every part the war hero he was. He was strong, and it showed, he was tall and confident, golden brown and with a new found grace. He walked down the corridor of the Hogwarts express, smiling at his fellow classmates. He was finally getting used to people looking up to him, and was enjoying being a leader.

He had just received a note from a Ravenclaw girl. She had a bit of a dubious nature, but Harry was intrigued by the letter and could never resist a mystery.

"ahhh Harry" the girl, Scarlett Edwards said when he entered the compartment. She was alone, and posed beautifully against the window, looking aloof and yet inviting. Far too many buttons were undone on her blouse, and her robe had risen up to show of her fine legs. Harry snorted. If she wanted that, she had picked the wrong man, Harry was as gay as they came. But he thought every new knew that….

"I have…something to say." Harry nodded and threw himself down on the seat across from her. He was getting a bad vibe from this woman. "it's…a message, of a kind." She looked slightly embarrassed and Harry couldn't help but warm to her, just a little. He didn't want her to feel bad, after all.

"as you might know, i have, in the past run a few 'errands'. I'm not proud of it, but I am known for my ability to…persuade people and have sometimes used that power…badly" She was pink now and looking genially repentant. "the whole incident where Justin thought Luna had stolen his things….my fault, very bad business. But I don't intend to continue. The thing is, someone required my services and I think it's only fair you…are made aware." She took a breath, not looking at him. "its Draco Malfoy" 

"oh yes?" He said, seemingly uninterested. But a torrent of emotion ran though him at the name. Lust, was the first one of course, every time he saw, or even thought about Draco, something inside Harry ached for him. And then bitterness came, the man was an arsehole and Harry knew it, but he had also seen flashes of the real him, a kind, warm, shy person. It was frustrating that he knew this side of Draco, yet could never reach it.

Lastly, there was despair. Was Draco still plotting against him? Really? Even after the war had ended, after Harry saved him from the fire, from Azkaban? He had long accepted his feelings would not be returned, but really? Not even the slightest bit of gratitude? Maybe he really had been wrong about the man….

"He wanted me to deduce weather or not your feelings towards him had altered since our fourth year." She said, and Harry was grateful for her delicate wording.

He sighed.

He didn't know himself. There was this flood of warmth inside of him when he saw Draco, this involuntary smile when he said his name. And he knew he wanted him above anything else in the entire world. But he also knew that Draco's barriers were strong, and he hid the real him so far and deep inside, Harry didn't know if he would ever get the 'real' him. And he just didn't want to take the chance; he had gone through too much pain already.

After a moment Harry spoke; "You can say that my feelings for him started in the third year. If he wants to know more he'll have to get the guts to ask me himself."

He stood up to go but before he could, Scarlett spoke again; " you know him. Even if he does have good intentions, he lacks the…confidence to be direct about it."

Harry did know that, he had seen Draco's mask fall only a few times, but when it did, it was clear that he was just as confused as Harry was, and more scared. Harry had so badly wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. To protect him.

"Yeah. I know" Harry finally said. "But he'll have too. I'm not going through what happened in our fourth year again." And with that he swept out.

As he walked back down the corridor to his, Ron's and Hermione's compartment, painful memories came soaring back to him.

The teasing, the name calling, the slytherins cackling over Harry falling for their prince, the disgusted looks from everyone else.

But probably the most hurtful thing of all came about a month after the incident. The school was just calming down about it, and Harry was praying that they would move on soon. And then Draco came to talk to him. It looked like he had been crying (as he would understand later, it was nothing but a cheap charm) and Harry's heart melted, stupidly he asked what was wrong and Draco started to apologize, to repent, to say how the pressure from his family made him reject Harry, but he was just so in love that he didn't care anymore and oh would Harry please forgive him?

Harry's breath caught and leaned in closer to Draco, to those gorgeous lips, that beautiful face. "of course" he had breathed. And he closed his eyes as he went for a first kiss.

And then he heard the laughter. Draco's cool cackle right in his face and then, suddenly from everywhere. Slytherins and even some ravenclaws disillusioned themselves and fell about, laughing their heads off, pointing and jeering.

Harry ran, but it was all the school could talk about for the rest of the year.

Harry bit his lip and shook his head to clear the memories. It was depressing as hell to think about it, and pointless to boot. He didn't know why Draco wanted to know about his feelings, and it was pointless trying to figure it out.

Draco looked out his own compartment window as Harry went past, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. The man was perfect. Inside and out.

Draco didn't know when exactly he had fallen for Harry, but he had, and hard. He had avidly watched for him in the papers this last summer and when he had come to their trial, he nearly swooned. Even last year when they were meant to be on opposite sides, Draco couldn't help but want him. He regretted what he had done more than anything else in his life, and there was a lot of compotation for that top spot.

He just hoped Scarlett could ascertain Harry's feelings. Then, maybe, he could allow himself to hope.

Despite himself, Harry had started to hope too. That Draco was finally reciprocating his feelings, that maybe after all this time something could finally happen between them.

But nothing did happen. Nothing at all, as the months wore on, Draco showed no signs that he had been remotely interested in Harry. Well, he was a bit nicer, and he did flash a few, rare smiles his away. Each of which was secretly treasured by Harry. But in general, Harry put that down to the Slytherin's valiant attempts to keep the peace. They were clearly terrified of prosecution and humbled by what had happened, and while there a lot of ill will towards them, Harry made sure it was kept to a minimum.

Harry did it mostly because of his need to protect Draco, but no one had to know that.

It wasn't until one day in early December that Harry had had any relief.

While had Harry been able to put the feelings aside (he had had years of practice) Draco festered on them, fuming that he couldn't get any more information and bubbling up every time he so much as smelt Harry's presence.

It was the sweetest agony he had ever felt.

Harry had been practicing quiddich, just lightly, on his own. It was cool, but sunny and he didn't have much work to do. After a while, he landed and headed to the changing rooms, looking forward to a nice, hot shower. The room was steamy and he was just considering having a wank (about Draco) when the door opened and someone came in. Quickly, he turned the water off and grabbed a towel, throwing it around his lower half.

The steam cleared and he saw the person, his nimbus two thousand and one causally held against his shoulder.

"Draco." Harry said, trying for neutrality but ending up with a sort of purring quality to his voice.

"Harry" Draco replied, going for friendly, but instead getting a breathless, feminine result.

Harry gulped, suddenly nervous. There was something in the air, some quality of the situation that told him they were finally going to talk. "how are you?" He asked, trying to soothe the obviously nervous slytherin.

"fine." He said, despite the fact that he was shaking. He couldn't help but look at Harry's fine chest, his perfectly round nipples, surprisingly dark. Harry paused for a moment, desperately hoping for more conversation. But none came and he wasn't going to force it. He went over his locker and toweled off, deliberately taking ages. Still Draco said nothing. Finally Harry put his jeans on, miserably musing that his early intuition couldn't have been more wrong. He was just reaching for his top when Draco spoke, and Harry's heart soared.

"I still feel bad about our fourth year."

He straightened and looked up. Poor Draco looked terrified, but so earnest. Harry's heart, again, melted. He took a deep breath. He wasn't about to forgive Draco, but he recognized this as one of the rare moments he wasn't wearing his mask, and he knew he had to be very careful- or it would go straight back up.

"that was…a crazy year for both of us." He said finally. "yes." Draco agreed, "but I did make it a hell of a lot worse."

"yeah…" Harry said, unable to disagree. "but, it's in the past now, I've moved on." He said without thinking.

Draco's eyes napped up and he and bit his lip, heart hammering. "you have? Moved on, I mean..." Suddenly, Harry understood what he had said. All he had meant was that he wasn't too upset by the incident itself, he wasn't talking about his feelings at all.

But now he was being asked directly.

He just breathed for a moment, eyes locked with Draco's. "why are you asking?" he said so softly it was almost a whisper.

"because I want to know." Draco shot back, a petulant note in his voice, and harry knew his mask was in danger of going up again.

"Draco…" And the name was like a prayer on his lips, or a sip of wine. "you have to understand why I don't want to answer that question…"

"of course I do." Draco said, his shoulders slumping. He moved away sharply and scowled at the wall, before removing his outer robes. Harry sighed, wishing he wasn't so god damn sensitive. He was just going to go and put his top back on when Draco spoke again: "but…if you had moved on, you would have just said. If you had moved on, it would be easy to say that..." Harry felt his blood boil, fuck draco for being so slytherin! He hadn't wanted Draco to know how he felt, why couldn't he just of accepted that? He turned angrily to look at Draco, who was in fact, still talking. But Harry wasn't listening, instead he glided towards the blonde as he started to roll deodorant under his arms.

"at least, that's how it seems to me, so…am I right?" Draco continued. There was a little tremor in his voice, but Harry didn't pick up on it. Instead, Harry stood behind him for a moment, taking in his body. But as Draco raised his arms to take his top off, Harry pounced. He grabbed his now exposed sides and pushed him into the lockers, Draco let out a yelp, but Harry just went for his neck. He kissed it, planning to bite and suck and ravish, but with that first kiss, all thoughts of aggression were gone.

He was so sweet. Skin so soft and scent so clean.

"my emotions have always been clear, Draco." He said lovingly- but kept his grip firm, forcing him to stay as he was. "It's yours that have been always been questionable."

Draco's heart hammered and he moaned as Harry placed another kiss on his neck, working his way up to his jaw bone. He was utterly incapable of words as Harry ran his hands up his sides and teased his chest.

"Draco." He said sharply. "you can tell how I feel." Teasingly, he pressed his erection into Draco's perfect little bum. "mine are painfully obvious whenever I get near you. It's yours i need to know about."

"turn me around and see." Draco said, trying to sound cool, and not achingly aroused and powerless.

"no, I need to hear you say it." Harry told him.

"I…" Draco took a breath, suddenly feeling the realty of the situation. This had gone from nothing to everything fast, and he was scared again. But he took the plunge anyway. "I really like you Harry, and I'm so sorry-"

But he didn't finish, he was whipped around and taken into an earth shattering kiss. Harry had been waiting for five years for this kiss and it showed, Draco jumped his legs around Harry's waist and Harry easily held him as they writhed together, moaning and panting, Draco bucking his erection wildly against Harry's.

When they finally did come, they collapsed in a heap together, neither wanting to leave.

So they didn't. They stayed for hours in the cold little room, that suddenly became cozy with each other and a few transfigured blankets. They laughed and talked and kissed, and they couldn't stop smiling. It was like all their Christmases', birthdays and celebrations had come and neither could believe just how happy they were.

It was the perfect symbiotic relationship, with them operating perfectly together, going from serious to lighthearted, to sexual to sweet and back again seamlessly. It felt like they were made for each other and although they had liked each other for a long time, neither could get over just how well they worked together. How perfect the fit was. It was an eternity of bliss in each word and touch and they never wanted it to end.

Draco lay with his head on Harry's still bare chest, heart lighter than ever before, face smiling from smiling so much.

"Draco…." Harry sighed. "Why were you so cruel in our fourth year? Did you really hate me so much?"

Draco opened his eyes and felt his chest tighten. "well, yes and no. At the time, I don't think I really knew how bad I was being, I…" he took a deep breath. "I don't want to admit this…but, well, I wasn't...ready. If you know what I mean?"

"No…" Harry said, stroking Draco's hair gently. After a beat, Draco said; "don't laugh."

"I wont, I promise, you can tell me anything."

"Oh god, this is so embarrassing." He mumbled into his gryfendoor's chest. His face was bright red, and there was nothing he wanted to talk about less than this. But even he knew he owed Harry an explanation.

" I hadn't hit puberty. That's it really, I still thought sex was gross, I didn't understand about gay sex and I didn't really understand about romantic feelings at all. I'm sorry. I was still such a kid and you were like, streets ahead of me in terms of maturity. You always have been."

Harry couldn't help but smile. It felt good to finally have an answer and it felt better to hear praise from Draco. God he was so happy.

"That's not embarrassing. Actually, I'm really glad I've finally got an answer, and of all the ones you could have given me, that's a very understandable one. I'm not mad about it anymore, so don't worry."

Draco actually had to pick himself up and look Harry in the face to make sure he wasn't joking.

"you're way too good for me potter" He said finally. Harry just laughed. But now he had started thinking about his fourth year, he couldn't stop the old feelings creeping back, the feelings of impossible love and insurmountable odds. He took a deep breath and decided to try something, to know once and for all. A test, really.

"Draco. Do you know who played that prank? Remember, when those notes were dropped on us. Who did that?"

He felt Draco's whole body seize and Harry prayed that he would just be honest. He wouldn't be able to take it if Draco lied.

"I..I don't know."

"Fuck you Malfoy." Harry spat, pushing Draco off of him and storming over to finally get dressed, molten rage making him shake so much he staggered.

"what?" Draco said, heart breaking, jaw slack.

"fuck you" harry repeated, tears blurring his vision. " I know you did that prank. I already said I forgave you, why the fuck did you have to lie about it?" He screamed, throwing his robe around his shoulders and marching towards the door, whole body aching with crushed hope.

"Harry, wait- I'm so sorry, please wait." Draco's breathing was labored and he couldn't think properly, couldn't believe that only moments ago he was in bliss and now-

"Just give me one last chance-"

"This was your one last chance" Harry roared at him, his pain crawling up his insides like a thousand beetles come to strangle him.

"I'm so sorry." Draco pleaded, "Harry please, I know it was so wrong and stupid of me, but-"

"Why do you always do this to me?" Harry demanded, not interested in any excuse. Bitter disappointment battling with desperation for the ultimate hold over him.

"I'm so sorry." This time Draco's voice caught and he had to take deep breaths to keep from slipping into hysteria.

"Too late." Harry sneered and had just opened the door when Draco let out a little sob. Harry froze on the threshold and shut bowed his head, unable to cope with what was happening.

"Harry please, just let me say that I would do anything for you, and I am so sorry. This was without a doubt the best day of my life. Just please tell me, id there anything I can do? Do I have even the remotest chance?"

Harry bit his lip, he didn't even have to think about the answer. Draco would always have another chance. And the idea of Draco chasing after him for once, was intoxicating. No matter how much it broke his heart, no matter much ridicule he took, or desperation he felt, he still yearned for his Draco. Always would.

"A shadow of a chance. Maybe." He said finally, before storming out in to the dusky night.


	3. Chapter 3

_So, its been ages. I know I am so sorry. I hope you enjoy anyway…im working on an update to 'hold me' right now and im pretty sure il get to 'sod to the devil' soon. Thank you to anyone reading this! _

It was the "8th year" and Harry stood, proud and noble, looking every part the war hero he was. He was strong, and it showed, he was tall and confident, golden brown and with a new found grace. He walked down the corridor of the Hogwarts express, smiling at his fellow classmates. He was finally getting used to people looking up to him, and was enjoying being a leader.

He had just received a note from a Ravenclaw girl. She had a bit of a dubious nature, but Harry was intrigued by the letter and could never resist a mystery.

"ahhh Harry" the girl, Scarlett Edwards said when he entered the compartment. She was alone, and posed beautifully against the window, looking aloof and yet inviting. Far too many buttons were undone on her blouse, and her robe had risen up to show of her fine legs. Harry snorted. If she wanted that, she had picked the wrong man, Harry was as gay as they came. But he thought every new knew that….

"I have…something to say." Harry nodded and threw himself down on the seat across from her. He was getting a bad vibe from this woman. "it's…a message, of a kind." She looked slightly embarrassed and Harry couldn't help but warm to her, just a little. He didn't want her to feel bad, after all.

"as you might know, i have, in the past run a few 'errands'. I'm not proud of it, but I am known for my ability to…persuade people and have sometimes used that power…badly" She was pink now and looking genially repentant. "the whole incident where Justin thought Luna had stolen his things….my fault, very bad business. But I don't intend to continue. The thing is, someone required my services and I think it's only fair you…are made aware." She took a breath, not looking at him. "its Draco Malfoy" 

"oh yes?" He said, seemingly uninterested. But a torrent of emotion ran though him at the name. Lust, was the first one of course, every time he saw, or even thought about Draco, something inside Harry ached for him. And then bitterness came, the man was an arsehole and Harry knew it, but he had also seen flashes of the real him, a kind, warm, shy person. It was frustrating that he knew this side of Draco, yet could never reach it.

Lastly, there was despair. Was Draco still plotting against him? Really? Even after the war had ended, after Harry saved him from the fire, from Azkaban? He had long accepted his feelings would not be returned, but really? Not even the slightest bit of gratitude? Maybe he really had been wrong about the man….

"He wanted me to deduce weather or not your feelings towards him had altered since our fourth year." She said, and Harry was grateful for her delicate wording.

He sighed.

He didn't know himself. There was this flood of warmth inside of him when he saw Draco, this involuntary smile when he said his name. And he knew he wanted him above anything else in the entire world. But he also knew that Draco's barriers were strong, and he hid the real him so far and deep inside, Harry didn't know if he would ever get the 'real' him. And he just didn't want to take the chance; he had gone through too much pain already.

After a moment Harry spoke; "You can say that my feelings for him started in the third year. If he wants to know more he'll have to get the guts to ask me himself."

He stood up to go but before he could, Scarlett spoke again; "you know him. Even if he does have good intentions, he lacks the…confidence to be direct about it."

Harry did know that, he had seen Draco's mask fall only a few times, but when it did, it was clear that he was just as confused as Harry was, and more scared. Harry had so badly wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. To protect him.

"Yeah. I know" Harry finally said. "But he'll have too. I'm not going through what happened in our fourth year again." And with that he swept out.

As he walked back down the corridor to his, Ron's and Hermione's compartment, painful memories came soaring back to him.

The teasing, the name calling, the slytherins cackling over Harry falling for their prince, the disgusted looks from everyone else.

But probably the most hurtful thing of all came about a month after the incident. The school was just calming down about it, and Harry was praying that they would move on soon. And then Draco came to talk to him. It looked like he had been crying (as he would understand later, it was nothing but a cheap charm) and Harry's heart melted, stupidly he asked what was wrong and Draco started to apologize, to repent, to say how the pressure from his family made him reject Harry, but he was just so in love that he didn't care anymore and oh would Harry please forgive him?

Harry's breath caught and leaned in closer to Draco, to those gorgeous lips, that beautiful face. "of course" he had breathed. And he closed his eyes as he went for a first kiss.

And then he heard the laughter. Draco's cool cackle right in his face and then, suddenly from everywhere. Slytherins and even some ravenclaws disillusioned themselves and fell about, laughing their heads off, pointing and jeering.

Harry ran, but it was all the school could talk about for the rest of the year.

Harry bit his lip and shook his head to clear the memories. It was depressing as hell to think about it, and pointless to boot. He didn't know why Draco wanted to know about his feelings, and it was pointless trying to figure it out.

Draco looked out his own compartment window as Harry went past, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. The man was perfect. Inside and out.

Draco didn't know when exactly he had fallen for Harry, but he had, and hard. He had avidly watched for him in the papers this last summer and when he had come to their trial, he nearly swooned. Even last year when they were meant to be on opposite sides, Draco couldn't help but want him. He regretted what he had done more than anything else in his life, and there was a lot of compotation for that top spot.

He just hoped Scarlett could ascertain Harry's feelings. Then, maybe, he could allow himself to hope.

Despite himself, Harry had started to hope too. That Draco was finally reciprocating his feelings, that maybe after all this time something could finally happen between them.

But nothing did happen. Nothing at all, as the months wore on, Draco showed no signs that he had been remotely interested in Harry. Well, he was a bit nicer, and he did flash a few, rare smiles his away. Each of which was secretly treasured by Harry. But in general, Harry put that down to the Slytherin's valiant attempts to keep the peace. They were clearly terrified of prosecution and humbled by what had happened, and while there a lot of ill will towards them, Harry made sure it was kept to a minimum.

Harry did it mostly because of his need to protect Draco, but no one had to know that.

It wasn't until one day in early December that Harry had had any relief.

While had Harry been able to put the feelings aside (he had had years of practice) Draco festered on them, fuming that he couldn't get any more information and bubbling up every time he so much as smelt Harry's presence.

It was the sweetest agony he had ever felt.

Harry had been practicing quiddich, just lightly, on his own. It was cool, but sunny and he didn't have much work to do. After a while, he landed and headed to the changing rooms, looking forward to a nice, hot shower. The room was steamy and he was just considering having a wank (about Draco) when the door opened and someone came in. Quickly, he turned the water off and grabbed a towel, throwing it around his lower half.

The steam cleared and he saw the person, his nimbus two thousand and one causally held against his shoulder.

"Draco." Harry said, trying for neutrality but ending up with a sort of purring quality to his voice.

"Harry" Draco replied, going for friendly, but instead getting a breathless, feminine result.

Harry gulped, suddenly nervous. There was something in the air, some quality of the situation that told him they were finally going to talk. "how are you?" He asked, trying to soothe the obviously nervous slytherin.

"fine." He said, despite the fact that he was shaking. He couldn't help but look at Harry's fine chest, his perfectly round nipples, surprisingly dark. Harry paused for a moment, desperately hoping for more conversation. But none came and he wasn't going to force it. He went over his locker and toweled off, deliberately taking ages. Still Draco said nothing. Finally Harry put his jeans on, miserably musing that his early intuition couldn't have been more wrong. He was just reaching for his top when Draco spoke, and Harry's heart soared.

"I still feel bad about our fourth year."

He straightened and looked up. Poor Draco looked terrified, but so earnest. Harry's heart, again, melted. He took a deep breath. He wasn't about to forgive Draco, but he recognized this as one of the rare moments he wasn't wearing his mask, and he knew he had to be very careful- or it would go straight back up.

"that was…a crazy year for both of us." He said finally. "yes." Draco agreed, "but I did make it a hell of a lot worse."

"yeah…" Harry said, unable to disagree. "but, it's in the past now, I've moved on." He said without thinking.

Draco's eyes napped up and he and bit his lip, heart hammering. "you have? Moved on, I mean..." Suddenly, Harry understood what he had said. All he had meant was that he wasn't too upset by the incident itself, he wasn't talking about his feelings at all.

But now he was being asked directly.

He just breathed for a moment, eyes locked with Draco's. "why are you asking?" he said so softly it was almost a whisper.

"because I want to know." Draco shot back, a petulant note in his voice, and harry knew his mask was in danger of going up again.

"Draco…" And the name was like a prayer on his lips, or a sip of wine. "you have to understand why I don't want to answer that question…"

"of course I do." Draco said, his shoulders slumping. He moved away sharply and scowled at the wall, before removing his outer robes. Harry sighed, wishing he wasn't so god damn sensitive. He was just going to go and put his top back on when Draco spoke again: "but…if you had moved on, you would have just said. If you had moved on, it would be easy to say that..." Harry felt his blood boil, fuck draco for being so slytherin! He hadn't wanted Draco to know how he felt, why couldn't he just of accepted that?! He turned angrily to look at Draco, who was in fact, still talking. But Harry wasn't listening, instead he glided towards the blonde as he started to roll deodorant under his arms.

"at least, that's how it seems to me, so…am I right?" Draco continued. There was a little tremor in his voice, but Harry didn't pick up on it. Instead, Harry stood behind him for a moment, taking in his body. But as Draco raised his arms to take his top off, Harry pounced. He grabbed his now exposed sides and pushed him into the lockers, Draco let out a yelp, but Harry just went for his neck. He kissed it, planning to bite and suck and ravish, but with that first kiss, all thoughts of aggression were gone.

He was so sweet. Skin so soft and scent so clean.

"my emotions have always been clear, Draco." He said lovingly- but kept his grip firm, forcing him to stay as he was. "It's yours that have been always been questionable."

Draco's heart hammered and he moaned as Harry placed another kiss on his neck, working his way up to his jaw bone. He was utterly incapable of words as Harry ran his hands up his sides and teased his chest.

"Draco." He said sharply. "you can tell how I feel." Teasingly, he pressed his erection into Draco's perfect little bum. "mine are painfully obvious whenever I get near you. It's yours i need to know about."

"turn me around and see." Draco said, trying to sound cool, and not achingly aroused and powerless.

"no, I need to hear you say it." Harry told him.

"I…" Draco took a breath, suddenly feeling the realty of the situation. This had gone from nothing to everything fast, and he was scared again. But he took the plunge anyway. "I really like you Harry, and I'm so sorry-"

But he didn't finish, he was whipped around and taken into an earth shattering kiss. Harry had been waiting for five years for this kiss and it showed, Draco jumped his legs around Harry's waist and Harry easily held him as they writhed together, moaning and panting, Draco bucking his erection wildly against Harry's.

When they finally did come, they collapsed in a heap together, neither wanting to leave.

So they didn't. They stayed for hours in the cold little room that suddenly became cozy with each other and a few transfigured blankets. They laughed and talked and kissed, and they couldn't stop smiling. It was like all their Christmases', birthdays and celebrations had come and neither could believe just how happy they were.

It was the perfect symbiotic relationship, with them operating perfectly together, going from serious to lighthearted, to sexual to sweet and back again seamlessly. It felt like they were made for each other and although they had liked each other for a long time, neither could get over just how well they worked together. How perfect the fit was. It was an eternity of bliss in each word and touch and they never wanted it to end.

Draco lay with his head on Harry's still bare chest, heart lighter than ever before, face smiling from smiling so much.

"Draco…." Harry sighed. "Why were you so cruel in our fourth year? Did you really hate me so much?"

Draco opened his eyes and felt his chest tighten. "well, yes and no. At the time, I don't think I really knew how bad I was being, I…" he took a deep breath. "I don't want to admit this…but, well, I wasn't...ready. If you know what I mean?"

"No…" Harry said, stroking Draco's hair gently. After a beat, Draco said; "don't laugh."

"I wont, I promise, you can tell me anything."

"Oh god, this is so embarrassing." He mumbled into his gryfendoor's chest. His face was bright red, and there was nothing he wanted to talk about less than this. But even he knew he owed Harry an explanation.

" I hadn't hit puberty. That's it really, I still thought sex was gross, I didn't understand about gay sex and I didn't really understand about romantic feelings at all. I'm sorry. I was still such a kid and you were like, streets ahead of me in terms of maturity. You always have been."

Harry couldn't help but smile. It felt good to finally have an answer and it felt better to hear praise from Draco. God he was so happy.

"That's not embarrassing. Actually, I'm really glad I've finally got an answer, and of all the ones you could have given me, that's a very understandable one. I'm not mad about it anymore, so don't worry."

Draco actually had to pick himself up and look Harry in the face to make sure he wasn't joking.

"you're way too good for me potter" He said finally. Harry just laughed. But now he had started thinking about his fourth year, he couldn't stop the old feelings creeping back, the feelings of impossible love and insurmountable odds. He took a deep breath and decided to try something, to know once and for all. A test, really.

"Draco. Do you know who played that prank? Remember, when those notes were dropped on us. Who did that?"

He felt Draco's whole body seize and Harry prayed that he would just be honest. He wouldn't be able to take it if Draco lied.

"I..I don't know."

"Fuck you Malfoy." Harry spat, pushing Draco off of him and storming over to finally get dressed, molten rage making him shake so much he staggered.

"what?" Draco said, heart breaking, jaw slack.

"fuck you" harry repeated, tears blurring his vision. " I know you did that prank. I already said I forgave you, why the fuck did you have to lie about it?" He screamed, throwing his robe around his shoulders and marching towards the door, whole body aching with crushed hope.

"Harry, wait- I'm so sorry, please wait." Draco's breathing was labored and he couldn't think properly, couldn't believe that only moments ago he was in bliss and now-

"Just give me one last chance-"

"This was your one last chance" Harry roared at him, his pain crawling up his insides like a thousand beetles come to strangle him.

"I'm so sorry." Draco pleaded, "Harry please, I know it was so wrong and stupid of me, but-"

"Why do you always do this to me?" Harry demanded, not interested in any excuse. Bitter disappointment battling with desperation for the ultimate hold over him.

"I'm so sorry." This time Draco's voice caught and he had to take deep breaths to keep from slipping into hysteria.

"Too late." Harry sneered and had just opened the door when Draco let out a little sob. Harry froze on the threshold and shut bowed his head, unable to cope with what was happening.

"Harry please, just let me say that I would do anything for you, and I am so sorry. This was without a doubt the best day of my life. Just please tell me, id there anything I can do? Do I have even the remotest chance?"

Harry bit his lip, he didn't even have to think about the answer. Draco would always have another chance. And the idea of Draco chasing after him for once, was intoxicating. No matter how much it broke his heart, no matter much ridicule he took, or desperation he felt, he still yearned for his Draco. Always would.

"A shadow of a chance. Maybe." He said finally, before storming out in to the dusky night.


End file.
